more work notes and beyond

man, every time I want to run a "count" query in mongodb, I need to lookup the syntax. It's like this:

db.runCommand({count : 'records', query : {answeredBy : {$exists : true}}})

this is counting the number of tasks that have completed, which is currently 3643. and now 3645. 3646. seconds apart. crazy.

hm.. I feel I must look at e-mail and todos. the dread.
I can feel my neck tightening.
I don't want to click the tab.
I want to just focus on a smaller number of things. one thing.
but there might be some important e-mail,
some person who needs something,

I have my mental tools.. detachment.. turn off emotion chip.. but.. am I missing a longer term solution here? Why do I feel so assailed by e-mail? Why do they have such power over me? Why do I feel so obligated to care about them, and do all the things that people ask?

Hm.. one of the first e-mails is a request to meet someone over skype. I need to find a time to meet.. why is that so hard? I feel like scheduled meeting times force a sort of time-management discipline that.. is uncomfortable somehow to my brain..

I was talking to someone about personality types, and they said my personality type likes "comfort". My personality type would prefer that people walk around in pajamas, and I feel like the analog to that preference with respect to schedules is to not have rigorous ones.

next e-mail is also scheduling a time to talk.. this is so hard.. I want to cry :(

oh god, couple more e-mails and there's another meeting, and it's at exactly the time that I just barely scheduled something else to be.

I've gone through like 5 e-mails and I'm already exhausted. I'm going to watch Fringe.

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