dreaming and belief

hypothesis: it's possible to get the mind to enter an awake-like state while dreaming (lucid dreaming), and possible to get the mind to enter a dream-like state while awake (hypnosis, meditation, lsd).

hypothesis: two techniques to help train the mind to enter both of these states, are:
  • practice really doubting whether "reality" is real
  • practice really believing a non "real" thing (faith)

anecdote: I had a dream last night. Inside the dream there was some point where I was doing something precarious — I forget what — and later, still inside the dream, I thought "man, it's good I didn't doubt whether I was dreaming at that precarious point, because I might have fallen.. but wait, maybe I was dreaming at that point.."


hypocrisy ok

I feel like our culture values consistency. So if I say something about myself, like "I'm not embarrassed about using two forks" -- which I've said -- then I feel some compulsion to not be embarrassed about it. But the fact is, I am embarrassed about it sometimes. And it seems good to recognize that.

I suppose that given that realization, it makes sense not to tell people in the future that I'm not embarrassed about using two forks. But since I don't know myself perfectly well, it seems like I'll say lots of wrong things going forward, and I don't want that to stop me from discovering I'm wrong, even if it means people will think I'm a hypocrite, or inconsistent, which is something I've worried about and let stand in my way before, it seems.

believing things because they are said

Couple thoughts:

It occurs to me that I have felt like I'm doing something wrong whenever I feel stressed or depressed.. But I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong when I'm hungry, even if I decide not to eat.. I think stress and depression may be normal human processes, and as unpleasant and potentially destructive to the body they may be, I think they're not evil. I've just been told that, and believed it.

It occurs to me that I worry about hypnosis because it allows someone to control my mind. Yet, I have been controlled already, I think. For instance, I might fear that a hypnotist would make me sing and dance in front of people. But really, I've already been mind controlled to *not* be able to do that, even if I feel the desire to, by society telling me "it is bad to make a fool of yourself", and I've believed it, and internalized it deep in my subconscious, and now I'm effectively hypnotized in a trance where I can't perform that behavior.


being happy

thought 1: maybe it's better not to have a life goal, but rather to focus on being happy day to day.

thought 2: I'm interested in knowing what things and situations make me happy.

thought 3: it turns out that working on visually stimulating things brings me some happiness. I was working on this today (see below), which is going to be a JavaScript version of this.


I just saw this on my screen, and thought it was funny:

It's like the guy is all upset that Acorn's trial period is up, and is trying to shout through a blurred window. But actually the blurring is from a bad camera shot, not Acorn.


just a thought: I worry sometimes that by becoming more aware and detached from my emotions, I won't be able to feel them as much, which might suck, since sometimes it can be fun to feel emotions strongly, but I think that an aware and detached person could still allow themselves to sink into an emotion, perhaps even further than they could go if they weren't aware and detached..

..I was thinking about fear in particular, which I've generally thought of as just bad, but now that I'm getting a better handle on it, it occurred to me that maybe I would want to feel fear sometimes, for fun, the way people get a kick out of watching a scary movie.