"If I say something, and someone says it is bad, then I stop talking about that line of thought." What do I mean by bad?

While in grad school, a friend said they thought a presentation I made was bad. Really bad. And this person does not mince words. And I put a lot of effort and pride into my presentations. Yet I did not stop showing them my presentations, and was grateful that they said it was bad.

Here are some forms of "bad":

  • This is bad, please don't show me similar things in the future.
  • This is bad, and causes me to respect you less.
  • This is bad, and suggests you should stop trying.
  • This is objectively bad, and the fact that you don't see it means you should listen to me.

  • I happen to dislike this particular thing, perhaps a lot, and I may not even be able to explain why, but I'm glad you showed me, and I want to see future things you do, even if they are similar to this.

If I sense one of the first four, I shut down. If I sense the last one, I find the criticism useful.

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