meditation 4

Continuing the saga, I tried meditating again today, this time for 7 minutes. Man, 7 minutes is a long time to meditate. I was on the verge of checking my stopwatch near the end to make sure I had actually started it.

This time seemed half-good and half-bad. I kept concentrating on my breathing the whole time, more or less, but my mind never really settled. There were videos playing in my mind the whole time. (For that matter, my eyes are playing tricks on me even now, and I see colorful images in the white areas of my computer monitor. I think this may be from playing Bastion, which has very colorful and vibrant scenery.)

I had a couple thoughts while meditating. One thought was about these scenes not going away, and uncertainty about why that was happening, and thinking about writing that thought here. The other thought was the meta-thought that I shouldn't be thinking about stuff to write here while meditating, coupled with the thought that it is probably still a good idea to log my meditation session in my blog, since it does seem to keep me doing it, and I think it helps me track my progress.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do next time. I feel like this time was worse in terms of clearing my mind. I did have a moment where I felt like ideas and thought were falling away, and they did literally fall away in the sense that my mind conjured an image of them dropping out of view, but that same sense of my mind conjuring a view at all seemed to be the core problem.

Maybe this isn't a problem? Maybe I should just ignore it and keep concentrating on my breathing? I'm sure I should just keep concentrating on my breathing, I guess I'm more wondering if this is a sign that "I'm do'in it wrong" -- meaning that maybe I'm not concentrating on my breathing "correctly". For instance, maybe I should be "focussed" on my breathing, directing all my attention there. Currently I'm.. hm.. I'm concentrating on my breathing, but also trying to relax I guess. Maybe I shouldn't be trying to relax, but just focussed on my breathing? Hm.. this may be something to try next time.

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