meditation notes

I had been doing 5 minute focus-on-my-breathing meditations, and keeping count. After about 17 of them, I upgraded to 10 minutes. I can keep focussed pretty well, and I notice more about how my body breaths — for what that's worth.

Sometimes I have thoughts when I meditate, and I wonder if I should write them down or dismiss them. The verdict is still out for me. Usually I dismiss them, hoping they'll come back later if they're good, and sometimes I write them down if they seem important enough.

I've been trying to lucid dream still — since I've started counting, I've tried 41 times, with 1 short-lived success (well, partial success, I had tried to enter a lucid dream from a waking state, but instead I entered a lucid dream by realizing that I was dreaming.. that is to say, I feel asleep during my actual attempt).

One thing that happens when I try to lucid dream is that my body gets numbish, particularly my arm, and I can't figure out if my nerves are being pinched in some way, or if that's supposed to happen, because it's the same position I sleep in, and I don't have trouble waking up with my arms asleep (generally).

In any case, I've read somewhere that I will feel like my body wants to shift position, but that I shouldn't — I should keep still — and I try keeping still, but ultimately move. I think I did try keeping still for a long while once and it still didn't work, so I don't know, I should try again I suppose..

..something that seems a bit more promising is trying to imagine walking around with my dream body, feeling my dream body, feeling my imaginary environment, etc.. somehow this seems on the path toward becoming comfortable letting my mind detach from my physical body, as it seems to do in dreams.

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