..continued. I'm going to meditate for 12 minutes this time.. ok, done, notes:
- got bored once, but pretty quickly resumed patience
- idea: maybe the idea of clearing the mind is that when the mind is clear, it is simple, and it is easier for a meta-mind to understand it, and sortof "see above it"
- attention often diverted to keep upright
- my ear was a bit plugged, and I kept hearing my breath loudly in my ear (my ear has been plugged all day, and I think it got more plugged after dancing.. something to do with sweat I think)
- I also heard the fan of my computer -- I feel like noises are not good for meditation. I think ultimately I should be able to focus in their presence, but it seems easier without them
- near the beginning, there were some images, even some pretty vivid images. Many of these images were sortof stoic, which I identify with meditation, but I decided that I shouldn't entertain or be distracted by even these images, but rather completely rid my mind of thoughts (these thoughts seem a bit illusionary in that.. it's sortof like imaging that I'm an olympic athlete, rather than actually exercising)
- near the end, I decided to focus on accepting thoughts.. acknowledging and accepting thoughts as they passed by, without letting them take my attention.. I feel like this is in the right direction
- I felt like I was doing well, and that maybe I just need more practice
- I've recently been feeling a feeling of sortof.. being above myself, and giving myself commands, though I'm not sure how real this feeling is.. in any case, I went back and forth a bit on meditating by sortof giving my "lower" self the command to meditate, but I feel like this strategy might be wrong, since this supposed "upper" self is still thinking.. so I'm still focussed on trying to rid my mind of all thought. I'm hoping these mental phenomena become more clear as I continue on.