I'm trying to figure out what this blog is. I want to write exactly what is on my mind. I want to be completely open. However, I'm afraid of a couple of things.
First, I'm afraid that people may not want to read everything I write. Like this post, for instance, seems like it may be pretty boring for people. This fear is in tension with the idea that writing in the blog helps me, and that is the whole point. But, is it the whole point? Not quite. I do want to be heard as well. Or at least know that what I said could be read -- again, that desire to be open.
Second, I'm afraid that people may be offended by what I write. Some of the things I think are offensive. This is in tension with the idea that I am too afraid of offending people. Of course, that is in tension with the idea that I have the danger of falling too far in the other extreme, not knowing where good boundaries are for what is ok to say and not say with regard to offending people. And of course this is all in tension with the idea that I feel like it is inefficient to worry about offending people, and that this is a sort of error in our culture. We should all be open about how we feel about each other, and learn to accept the way other people feel about us. Perhaps.
Currently this blog is sortof secret. I'm debating about that as well. I don't like trying to have multiple channels, where some channels are for "good" stuff and some channels are for "half-baked" stuff, and perhaps other channels are for emotional/personal stuff. I want just one channel, with all the stuff.