jhana update:

• I think I've been to all 13 mentioned by my teacher friend
• I thought I couldn't move after the first one, but I can.. my body is just very relaxed in some of them
• They all seem to be in a line going backwards — even though the sensations may seem orthogonal, getting from one to the next always involves sort of "taking a step back" or "seeing things from a higher level"
• It's always possible to think rationally and even talk, apparently, because I've seen my teacher friend talk
• The sensations in each are impressionistic, rather than absolute. There's no magic. It's not like losing all sense of reality in some mystical realm, but they do feel "trance like"
• My teacher friend says that 5 through 8 are really part of 4, and that seems accurate to me. If I'm in 4 with my eyes open, and I "take a step back", I get to 9. If I want to get to 5, I need to close my eyes in 4 and sort of think of the description of it — "infinite space" — so I think of space expanding.. so I'm not sure these one's are in a line, and they may just be what it's like to think about certain subjects while in 4.

Here are my current descriptions:

• 1. focus on point
• 2. focus on small area, body relaxed
• 3. focus on whole visual field, as a whole, nothing in particular, body relaxed
• 4. focus on all sensual input, including body, body relaxed
• 5. "infinite space" — feels like I'm nowhere, eyes closed for 5 through 8
• 6. "infinite consciousness" — feels like a lot of white noise of sensation, eyes feel like they want to shut hard
• 7. "no-thing-ness" — feels more empty, relaxed, content
• 8. "perception and non-perception" — not sure about this one.. feels like focus is happening, but I'm not sure what on, maybe.. maybe I haven't been here..
• 9. sort of like seeing world with fresh eyes, body can move, I've walked around, very slowly though, and my vision tends to linger wherever it goes
• 10. seems easier to imagine moving than actually moving — I had a quite vivid imaginary walk downstairs to get a glass of grapefruit juice, with my eyes open
• 11. feels content to stay where I am
• 12. feels content to just be
• 13. feels like I see the world from the tippy top of my head

I've tried to "take a step back" from 13, and it feels like something is happening, but I haven't landed anywhere, and my brain is already pretty.. pretty something that it might not be able to be more of.. and my focus feels pretty far back already. I'll need to try again when my mind is fresh.. being in these states takes some energy.