exercise

I don't exercise much. One thing I've been trying recently is doing as many pushups as I can, and 100 jumping jacks. My goal is to do these every day for a month.

Dec 6: 17 pushups, 100 jumping jacks
Dec 7: 16 pushups, 100 jumping jacks
Dec 8: 15 pushups, 100 jumping jacks
Dec 9: failed
Dec 10: 16 pushups, 100 jumping jacks
Dec 11: 17 pushups, 100 jumping jacks

...

self hypnosis

[draft]

I posted a self-hypnosis script here. One of the things that script says is "imagine a rotating red cube". Here is where I think I've noticed a difference between hypnosis versus non-hypnosis. I can imagine a rotating red cube, but if I do it actively/conscious, while awake, I sortof need to control the cube myself, with conscious thought, and the mental image is of relatively low fidelity. However, when "hypnotised" (I'll put that in quotes for now since I'm not sure I have achieved hypnosis), and the script suggests to imagine a rotating red cube, it took a second or two of no conscious effort, and then I saw a sort of elaborate room, like a wizard in a fantasy novel might have in their tower, and within the room I got a partial view of a giant rotating red cube.. my view was sortof from a hallway surrounding the room, with windows into the room. Anyway, I feel like there is a difference between scenes generated and controlled by my conscious mind, versus my unconscious mind, where the scenes from my unconscious mind are much more vivid and elaborate.

self hypnosis

I've tried hypnotizing myself. So far, I've had moderate success. Maybe. Not sure.

Why?

- I wonder what it would feel like to be physically influenced by hypnotic suggestions. For instance, to be unable to lift my hand because my subconscious is following along with some suggestion that I couldn't lift my hand.

- I wonder if I could ask my subconscious questions, like "what is your biggest fear?"

- I wonder if I could modify myself, e.g., to be more confident, or less anxious.

One issue I've encountered is that I'm incredibly worried about giving up control to someone. I can't think of anyone I trust enough for that. I've tried downloading hypnosis mp3s from the internet, listening to them, and modifying them (via sound editing tools, to remove stuff I don't like), but still, there's a part of my brain that is worried as I listen to it.

So, I want to write my own audio scripts. Now, I could record them myself, but that takes work. But, Mac has a "say" command with some fairly good text-to-speech synthesis. On top of this, I want a little control over the time delay between sentences, so I created this tool (keep your expectations low, it is very basic): HypnoScript.

Here's a sample script (see script1.txt in the git repository). I use Mac's "Text to Speech" control and set voice to "Vicki", and rate to 3/8ths (assuming slow = 0 and fast = 1). I put on some Yanni in the background, and then run it using "node main.js script1.txt".


> defaultWait = 2.3 // changes the time delay between lines

I'm going to count down from 30 to 1
As I count down, you may allow yourself to drift into a state of hypnotic trance, where your mind is relaxed and open to suggestions
30
29
28
...
3
2
1

I'm going to count down from 10 to 1
As I count, you may imagine relexing more deeply and going deeper into trance
10
9
...
2
1

you may imagine a rotating red cube
1
2
...
5

you may imagine a tiger
1
2
...
5

you may imagine the inside of a volcano
1
2
...
5

I'm going to count up from 1 to 10
As I count up, you may allow yourself to wake up
1
2
...
10

harmony

I have a task list, but I'm not sure how to decide which task on it to tackle next. I've heard that importance and urgency are both key properties of tasks useful for prioritizing, but I'm not sure how to convert these into a single priority number. There's also the intrinsic enjoyment of the task itself to take into account, which may vary depending on my brain's current interests. If I do something that I'm currently interested in, I'll probably do it more efficiently than a task of equal urgency that doesn't excite my interests of the moment.

A thought I've been toying with recently is "harmony", which I use here to describe whatever my overall task fitness function is, but may also be a useful notion separate from other notions like "utility" (what makes me happy) or "good" (what God wants).

I have an unquantifiable mental image to go along with harmony: the task plan above on the left is less harmonious than the task plan on the right.

Allison

To lower my personal quality bar even further, without making these posts unreadable, I'm going to be getting Allison's help copy-editing my posts. So if you read something, and it sounds better than Greg would have written it, it's because Allison turned Greg's impressionistic sketch of a post into something a little more refined.

impressionistic thoughts

I use at least two modes of speaking to people. In one, I have a well-thought-out idea in mind, and I want to share the idea; I can answer all sorts of detailed questions about it because I understand it, and my agenda is to explain it. The other mode is more fuzzy and hand-wavy. I'm giving the impression of an idea, drawing loose connections, and saying that I see something there. The first mode is comparable to painting a photorealistic image, while the other is comparable to painting an impressionistic image. I'd like a word for the impressionistic version. I often say things like "just brainstorming", or "in a hand-wavy way". For example, I think this post is somewhat hand-wavy. Usually I feel the need to surround this stuff with disclaimers, and that takes time -- I think it's useful sometimes to say hand-wavy stuff, and I think people could do it more easily if they could bracket it with a word.

modes of thought

I'm going to try to list modes of thought that I encounter.

Here's the mode of thought I was in when I decided to create this post:
- I'm staring at something, or I have my eyes closed
- There is music playing in my headphones
- my hand is fiddling intensly with my pen
- my brain thinks it has stumbled accross a good idea
- I'm focused on the subtleties of the idea, making sure it is good, and refining the details
- I'm not really thinking in words or images -- the idea itself has it's own "form" in my mind

Here's the second mode that I noticed
- I'm engaged in some routine physical activity
- There is a lack of music playing in my mind
- I'm talking to myself (though not out loud), saying what I'm thinking

mode 3
- I'm tired
- I'm undecided about what to do
- my eyes are closed
- my mind is darting around, considering different possibilities, using bits of verbal and bits of visual and bits of neither of those
- I feel a sense of anxiety and uncertainty

mode 4
- I'm lying down
- my mind is drifting and landing on concepts without much conscious control, like a dream

mode 5
- I'm introspecting
- I'm identifying thoughts and feeling spatially in my brain (who knows where the thoughts and feelings are actually located, but my subjective experience is of identifying locations, and drawing boxes around them, and saying what's going on there)

mode 6
- I'm very focussed
- I feel like I can see a ways into the future, and I'm like a train travelling on a track, doing the stuff that I know ahead of time that I'll do
- I'm completely unemotional
- I'm not making value judgements of any sort, I'm just doing what my mind sees in the future
- Everything seems to make sense
- There is a feeling that I understand what's going on, and that it is good

mode 7

- I'm anxious about doing something
- The thing is important and very urgent
- My mind is completely focussed on the thing, letting everything else fall in priority
- If I'm waiting, I can't really do anything else productive, because my mind keep wanting to make sure that I don't forget the important and urgent thing

...more to come... hopefully...